


About a Line

by supercalifragili



Series: Healings [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-13
Updated: 2014-09-13
Packaged: 2018-02-17 04:30:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2296700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supercalifragili/pseuds/supercalifragili
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There’s something in Liam’s voice that catches Zayn, the reassuring tone, his gravelly timbre, the way his mouth moves when he speaks closely to Zayn in chilly nights and a couple of cigarette butts in an old ashtray they keep to remind them of home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	About a Line

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how-... I think Einaudi's Nuvole Bianche inspired this, and lots of ice cream too. All mistakes are mine, I'm sorry.

If there’s a person Zayn doesn’t cross a line with is Liam. No matter how easy it’d be not to keep it intact, Zayn doesn’t ever try to alter their balance. He walks warily on a solid rope above a void of darkness, and even though he’s afraid of heights and he can feel the bottomless pit underneath him he proceeds steadily. There, below him, is how’d it be if Liam weren’t to like him again. He’s never tried this hard to keep what he has with Liam with anyone else; he swears he’s never tried this hard.

With Liam is different. Beneath all that mass of happiness and everything that is Liam once they whisper under the covers of their bed, he feels there’s a fragility in the long and thick fingers of Liam’s hand when he touches them, he feels the balminess trickling through his fingertips. There’s some kind of inertia contrasting his open smiles and the loud laughter when Louis jokes about, when Harry can’t find comfort anywhere else and snuggles in the curve of Liam’s side; Niall takes him away out of everyone’s periphery- Niall is possessive of Liam.

Zayn collects Liam’s pieces when the boy can’t do much more than sigh and breathe deeply some days, when the hunch in his shoulder is worrying and the grimace is accentuated on the planes of his face. When Liam starts thinking that he is not enough again, that he is of no good again, the smudges on the skin under his eyes and the rubbing and scratching at his neck become insisting. That’s when Zayn swoops in and sits with him outside the balcony of whichever room they are supposed to live in for a couple of days.

He doesn’t mean to wait until that happens, but he looks out for the signs, he doesn’t want to trigger any thought in asking him “Do you feel good?” because between him and Liam there’s no _How are you_ that can be brushed off with a simple _I’m fine_ ; there’s _do you feel good, are you happy, are you satisfied._ There’s the look Liam gives him, the one where he seems so sincerely worried and earnest and his hands find his way on the nape of Zayn’s neck, when Zayn is hiding too much and he feels like falling somewhere under what makes soil, when Zayn caves in the gloominess that doesn’t go with the usual ‘I just need a minute alone, I just need time’, _no_ it goes with ‘If you don’t hold me now Liam, I’ll fall and fall till I can’t come back anymore’. Liam holds him then, he holds him so tight all those thoughts from Zayn’s head crash, and when Liam’s hands rub soothingly on Zayn’s skin he breathes effortlessly- he can’t think of anything else that are Liam’s arms and his healing heart.

There’s something in Liam’s voice that catches Zayn, the reassuring tone, his gravelly timbre, the way his mouth moves when he speaks closely to Zayn in chilly nights and a couple of cigarette butts in an old ashtray they keep to remind them of home.

When there are no cameras around, when no one is taking pictures and they isolate themselves away from everything, when Zayn cards his fingers through the short strands of his dark hair, there’s Liam present. Liam’s so _there_ Zayn’s heart thumps dangerously out of his chest; there’s another eye, another mouth, another body in front of him, the Liam that’s just _Liam’s_ and nobody else’s. Zayn always draws this Liam in the two-hundred pages of his sketchbook, the sketchbook he doesn’t show even Liam himself. He draws the freckles, the wrinkles, the crinkles, the shape and colour of his birthmark, his nose, his bearded jaw and the plump shape of his lips when the kiss languidly before sleeping hidden in each other, engulfed in the softness of the comforters shielding their bodies.

There’s heat Zayn can’t take away when Liam’s body presses into his, when they are chest to chest and Liam’s solid and scorching hands travel the planes of his body and fucks him slowly while kissing him on the back, ecstasy clouding Zayn’s brain in such a wonderful manner, the bundle of energy down his belly releasing like a shock out of his body. Zayn always shivers with want and when Liam’s hands return on his chest, Zayn groans low and throaty squirming helplessly as if he can’t stand the love anymore, as if it’s too much and he can’t contain it all in his body.

When Liam makes love to him everything multiplies exponentially. Liam is straightforwardness with gentleness and passion, it burns from the inside and explodes in a multitude of shades. Liam takes it slow and Zayn considers how fast a candle could melt in fire, wax sliding off its body in an agonizing fall. Liam works him open till he’s gasping for air and clutches the wrinkled blankets on his sides, murmuring a litany of _please, please, please_ he can’t stop from flowing out of his mouth. The stripes of white that coat Zayn’s chest are spurts of pleasure, not release; the bright and dark twist inside in his eyes like swirls of hurricanes.

As Liam threatens to crumble Zayn takes him in the sheets of their bed and strips him revelling in the softness, but sturdiness of his body, the feel of Liam’s chest hair under the palm of his hands. He stays like that some nights, Liam under him while he touches and presses his fingers on spots of his body watching as Liam shakes and breathes heavily. Zayn will never get used to how Liam’s body changes ever so quickly, the shapes and dents, the hair, his hands, the dip in the inside of his thigh when Zayn mouths at the line of Liam’s cock and his legs spread at the feel. He’ll never get used to the _ahs_ and _Zayn_ ; but he’ll remember the sting of the tugs at his hair and how his own cock would swell eagerly against the zip of his jeans and he’d forget about it, because everything is about Liam when Zayn decides.

When Zayn makes love to Liam, Liam cries and sniffs shake his chest, his lips trembling. Zayn makes love to Liam, and makes love to _Liam;_ he goes in so deep the _Liam_ that is buried in some corner of Liam’s mind stretches a hand towards him and Zayn tugs at it, and Zayn holds on tight, he holds so tight he feels himself merging with his body _._ Zayn licks carefully at Liam’s cock knowing by heart how to make Liam go somewhere he can’t reach with his mind, he begs and wiggles and ‘Please Zayn, fuck’, but Zayn doesn’t listen and goes on because he sees what Liam needs. He thrusts into him achingly slow until Liam cries because _it’s too much Zayn, I can’t;_ then, only then, he chases the colours behind his eyelids and the low groan Liam stretches out of his mouth followed by quiet sobs. Zayn hugs him then, he kisses his forehead lightly, smoothers other light kisses on his collarbones, and he checks the blooming shades of red and purple on the line of his neck.

He watches Liam from afar when he’s out there, he searches for him in the mass of people, he analyses his body language and the swiftness of his movements and sometimes he thinks that he’s staring too much but just then he catches Liam’s eyes and he knows it’s mutual. Liam is so much for other people Zayn thinks he will burn himself out, that’s why he keeps him, that’s why he touches him and makes sure Liam is not hiding anything from him. Liam stresses himself so much Zayn wonders how his heart can keep up with all of what he does.

Zayn loves Liam, he really does. At night when he’s fallen asleep beside him, Zayn prays silently, he prays they’ll stay like that and love each other because he’s scared that if Liam let’s go of him, he won’t be able to go on anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks a bunch for reading!


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